Wee Woo Gazette

Many emergency medicine interns and nurses are going to be going hungry in the coming weeks. Given recent budget cuts and restrictions at local Haven View Hospital, tensions have been running high. Many young doctors and other staff at the local emergency room seem to have banded together to take matters into their own hands. Given the lack of access to vital nutrition like that in the grape flavored Uncrustables, these roving bands of starving ER workers attacked a shipment of these sandwiches intended for a local grocery store.

Police are still searching for these criminals. If you have any information that could lead to the arrest of these individuals, please contact the Haven View Sherriff’s Department.